Quite often I am asked “how did you figure out you were a medium?” and I answer that quite simply….It kinda just found me. If you believe that you are on a path, chosen by you, with lessons that you need to learn, then you will understand what I meant by ‘found me’. I believe that moments and things are put in our path to help us become the person we are meant to be. That might be corny to some of you but think about your life in general. You are born into your family, grow up with the beliefs and values that are passed down through the generations, you find love, lose love, get married, divorced, have children, suffer heartache, lose loved ones and so the cycle begins and ends. Everything that you endure was brought about by YOUR decisions. You know what I’m talking about 🙂 We don’t always like to take responsibility for the bad stuff that has happened but in some small way it was designed for us, by us.
The world is full of ”what if” and I’m sure you can make a list a mile long of your own. The choices we make led us to the path we are on and we are always moving forward, even when it feels like a ‘2 steps forward, 3 steps back’ The relationships we build, the job we seek/have, the clothes we wear, the color we paint our kitchen….everything is a choice we have to make. When you look back at your life so far, you will see the many choices you made that brought you to where you are today.
So how did I get here? What road did I take that led me to a path as a Medium? After 2 failed marriages, I met a man who would eventually move me away from my friends and family. Life would be ok but the distance was definitely an issue. As we built our new life together I would realize I had given up one part of my life in order to receive another opportunity at what I always loved. Horses. There I was, in an unknown world, with horses again. I’m a very competitive person and as a kid and early adult I showed horses, not because it was fun, because I liked to win. My love of horses has been ingrained in my soul from birth, coming from a family that at one point in time had accumulated thousands of horses (yes at one time). When we started to talk about showing horses (my hubby also grew up showing and loving horses) I began to look at trends and seek education on what was happening now, after a 20 year break from the show world. I found a trainer that I followed for months, watching their posts on fb, and their successes in the show ring. I finally made the move back in December of 2015 and joined the Team. The last year has been exciting and memorable, while we didn’t win anything we certainly learned a lot! During the fall of 2016 I began to see my trainer post about a Medium who had also joined our team, and I thought literally ‘oh ya sure’ I ignored the posts, avoided them even and then one day he shared a post of hers about the journey she had to endure in order to become a Medium. I don’t know why I stopped to read it. Intuition? Gut feeling? Sense? But I stopped and read her post, clicked the link, and bought her book…. From the beginning I connected with her life experience, seeing patterns and similar paths. I read something that made me stop and think about who I am….
We hide our authentic selves because we don’t want to disappoint other people or hurt them in any way. But the truth is that we do more damage by trying to not hurt others than if we just stood up and said, “This is who I am.” It’s really our lies that creat the pain within others and, ultimately, the pain within ourselves. ~ Carmel Joy Baird – The Truth of Spirits:A Medium’s Journey From Panic to Peace
My whole life was designed around what other people wanted, what they expected of me. I am a people pleaser and it consumed the my life. I hated myself and those I loved for always coming first! She talks a lot of forgiving yourself, and finding balance in your life. All things that are HUGE when you suffer from any type of panic or anxiety disorder. But the connection she makes between what I had come to realize was ‘my normal’ crazy mind talking and the conversations with Spirit, were impossible for me to ignore. I heard the random thoughts, felt the chill, smelled non-existent flowers, and even had multiple dreams come true. Was I connecting to Spirit also? The decision to look further, and learn more was not an easy one. I stumbled around with doubt and honestly fear! Fear of acceptance, fear of rejection? I sat alone and looked at the options and pondered whether I was strong enough, or brave enough to make this move. Close to a month went by and I remember her talking about a book she found by accident, a book that changed her life, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us. I believe that everyone, myself included, is responsible for everything in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by our thoughts and our feelings ~ Louise Hay – You Can Heal Your Life
If it’s meant to be, you will find a way. And I did! I enrolled in a Certified Mediumship Course the next day. This is my path, my choice and my lesson. Challenge accepted.