We have all felt it. Your friend pops over, has coffee and tells you all about the guy they are seeing, or the post they read on fb that really set them off. You don’t always feel it right away but the longer you are together the more you begin to feel how they feel. You start to get agitated, listening to them rant. You feel the dark clouds rolling in as they describe the sadness or depression they are going through. You try to be upbeat, to offer guidance or just a shoulder, but the longer they go on the more you feel the need to find one of your own. Alas they have to go and as the door closes behind them you take a deep breath and though you continue to worry for them, or about them, you start the inner dialogue “This is terrible, but it is not mine” Do you remind yourself often? Do you let the moment take over your day? Do you notice that you have more friends and family that come to you broken, than there are happy ones? I ask myself often “Why do I attract unhappy souls?” and then I remember why….
As a child I tried to adopt most of my friends when they had trouble at home, or were in a bad way. I would lug them home and announce that I was letting ‘so and so’ spend a few nights, knowing they were quite likely going to be there weeks or indefinately. My parents were great and totally understood my need to ‘help the helpless’ it was just a part of who I was. As I grew older I had society influence me a bit more and I learned that people needed to work out their own stuff, just be supportive. Time has passed but I have not changed. I still look out for the little guy, and am attracted to their pain. That might sound odd but I’ll explain what I mean. When you walk in to a room of people, quite often you notice the leaders, I will notice the ones that are trying hard to blend into the corner. I’ve been witness to bullying, not physically but verbally, and have always sided with the one being picked on. So much so infact that I have had many little spats, yelling or physical in their defense. I’m that person. Even when it’s not my fight I will step in to protect those who need protection. And so my life continues, protecting, serving and helping those who need me.
Fast forward to the now. I am still helping people, albeit in a different way, but now I find I need to protect myself. The energy that is deposited in my accounts is sometimes overwhelming and hard to bear. I ask myself sometimes if it is worth it. There is so much darkness in the world, can I possible make a difference? When I sit and begin a reading for a client I am clean and clear, energy positive, and focused on my task. I begin with love and light and look for a way to ease their pain. In the process of delivering the messages and keeping to my task I quite often experience a deeper pain, that I know is not my own. I feel it in the core of my heart and I can feel the light dimming. I was taught how to protect myself, to recieve and release the message. Once the reading is over I will ritually release the team (my guides, angels, and loved ones), cut my emotional ties and cleanse myself again. I know I am suppose to be ok after but there is a piece of me that stands and watches out for those who need it. Not everything we carry is our own. Sending love and light to all of you today. Some of you need it more now than ever..