It's Personal

Chose wisely!

Let’s talk about choices. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone when I say I feel powerless to make choices sometimes. I feel like those choices are decided for me and I get resentful for it. But let’s talk about choices and how we are ultimately in control of every decision made in our life.

I spend a great deal of time by myself here at our farm. I am the caretaker to the animals and they depend on me to make sure they have all they need to have happy and healthy lives. We went into this arrangement, me staying home to look after everything and him working away, without truly knowing how it would all work. In the beginning I was excited to finally have the horses, I longed for, back in my life. There was an element of doubt of course. Can I do this alone? What if I need help? Who will I call? All these things run through my head as we began to get everything sorted out and then poof he was gone, off to work. The first year was difficult but I did it and was quite proud of myself but as the years go on I find I am enjoying it less and less. I asked myself repeatedly if I was really living my dream or was this his dream and I was the employee to it. Then the regrets and resentment creep in and it spirals out of control. I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been a topic of arguments between us through the years and I confess I am not very fair in my attempts to be heard. So here I sit, alone, in charge of my life and the lives that count on me to be there everyday and I ponder where exactly did I lose the ability to make choices….Insert light bulb moment…I made the choice didn’t I? I chose to be here, to do this, to be apart of the dream and plan. I made the choices that got me here.

We are all guilty of saying things like ‘What choice do I have’ or ‘not my choice’ and we my lifeshould think about that. Well whose choice is it then! We make choices to make choices and to give others the choice to make for us. That isn’t a right for someone else to decide. You give them that opportunity. ‘Well I don’t want to go to work, but what choice do I have’ so don’t go…it’s your choice isn’t it? What happens because of your choice is yours to own as well. The consequences of our choices. I am gifted with a strong moral compass and it is not without flaws, let me tell you. I have always been unable to shift responsibility to others. I am that person that says I will do it and I do it. I don’t like it always and I may regret the choice but I do it just the same. There is no easy button in life and when it comes down to it we spend so much time blaming other people for the situations we are in that we forget our own role in it. The truth of the matter is my choice and my voice are the reason I am where I am today.

I think when we come to terms with the notion that we got here in freewill and that the life we live now and will live in the future is 100% our own design, life will be good again. Will there be surprises? Absolutely! But if we don’t chose to participate then we really aren’t living are we. So make the choice today to own the place you’re in. If you don’t like it…make better choices. After all they are your’s to make.

Heather xo

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