The first day is always the hardest. The longest. Long good byes. Watching the truck head out of my driveway knowing it will be a long time before it returns. The silence and emptiness moves in and consumes my thoughts. 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks…the time will pass and eventually I will become accustomed to the everyday life of being here alone. Never worrying about whether I looked nice or what was for supper. Not being concerned with what I wanted to watch on TV since I was the only one to please. People would tell me I’m the lucky one.
“You can have cereal for supper!” or “If you don’t want to get dressed all day who would know!”
It is true. I can do all those things and have, being truthful. Who will know…
“I wish my hair was long and straight like Susie”
I remember as a kid hating my hair. I had wavy hair. My friends would envy my waves while I dreamed of ridding myself of them every morning while I pulled a comb through it. Are we ever truly happy with what we have? Our hair, our clothes, our home, our lives…someone somewhere will always have what we want!
Tonight as I reach the beginning of night 1 alone I am wondering about all those things I wish I had or used to long for. Nobodies lives are perfect so while I wish I had the companionship and closeness of my husband, I am still reminded of the sacrifice we are both making in order to have what we want long-term. It is always about the bigger picture and it is so easy to lose sight of that when we wallow in our lack of (blank)…
The next time you envy someone of their life or find yourself complaining about not having what you want, remember there are people in this world that would love to have what you already do. Then look around you, at the life you are privileged to lead, and show some gratitude for that opportunity. To the people who think I have it good because I can eat what I want or watch what I want….my answer to you is to hold your family close and don’t take for granted their presence. Somewhere in the world tonight, someone is on day 1 alone.